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| and samantha is coming.
samantha who i haven't seen since summer,
but seems like years.
samantha who has the softest shoulders.
samantha, my best friend.
next weekend that is.
and my sister, she will be 27 years old!
i cannot wait,
to start my life after college.
i cannot wait,
to have animal friends.
that maltese i've been dying for.
or a toy something or other.
that could fit inside my pocket.
and oh, the birds.
you will not believe how beautiful my birds will be.
i have rescheduled an appointment with the therapist for thursday.
so i just have to make it til then.
though i almost blacked out today.
no good. lulu, get better.
septa, i am very angry with you right now for not providing transportation today.
but i understand.
you're not treating your workers fairly. fix it.
and get started again.
i also talked to sally. my sewing teacher.
and the one teacher i truly feel comfortable with.
she's confident i won't fall too far behind.
and everything will even out.
i hope so.
i've got some illustration to do tonight.
and an owl costume to make and wear.
and what's halloween without some sweets?
not halloween.
so thank you for listening today, friends.
thank you for everything.
ps. i think we, we as in i, are changing the xanga name soon.
something much more appropriate to me now.
something..new.
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| that is not to say that i am completely alone.
i am finding my faraway friends are closer than they seem.
and the ones closer (in proximity) are farther when it's rough.
but you can't have smooth patches all the time.
and i can't be fun all the time.
that is a lot to live up to.
and i'm sorry if you're too preoccupied with your life and your boys,
to take the time to comfort me.
i was only asking for your arms and your ears.
but that's okay.
don't get the wrong impression.
i've a small bundle of boys and girls who do, truly, care.
and i've really always known who they were.
i am only surprised by the ones who i thought would be here.
it is very hard to concentrate.
very hard.
therefore,
it is very hard to make much progress
with the mountains of schoolwork i've yet to complete.
and that is so frustrating and overwhelming.
and bigger than i am.
in case you didn't know, i am going to be an owl for halloween.
i will MAKE the time to dress up in my costume.
if only for 5 minutes.
no,
i will wear it all night.
even if,
i have to do my homework in it.
and i am going to celebrate the end of october 2005.
my friends at work are party people.
it's all so tempting.
so i may be attending a heatherette show thursday night.
with jonny's band playing the afterparty.
and i will get in.
because nancy is asian. and has an id. or two.
and i've got christmas to look forward to.
not to mention, thanksgiving dinner.
but christmas holds a little breathing time.
which is more than what i need.
and i've got london waiting for me.
and waiting impatiently.
i guess you could say,
"i'm kind of a big deal."
no, that's not me.
but we are going to pretend it is.
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| so this morning i woke up.
and i threw up.
and i missed class.
this is routine now.
therapist says: we don't want it to develop into
post-dramatic depression.
if so, then i'm doomed for life.
basically.
buy matte photo paper.
sorry, that is more of a reminder for me, and not you.
i am very unorganized right now.
discombobulated. if there is such a word.
so i wonder what will happen with design now.
now that i've violated the attendance policy.
too much worry.
textiles is at the fabric workshop today, in the museum area,
on the parkway.
it should be fun.
should be.
oh. and bless rosa parks and her heart.
i should shower and get ready.
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| two posts in two days.
recent record.
i want to be a bird.
and it went ok.
the appointments are now weekly.
but relaxing.
went to the penitentiary with joanna.
fright night.
chills and thrills.
hit my head on a pipe.
stinkin bruiser.
please don't make me do schoolwork.
i just want to sleep for now.
london, come quick.
texas, come home.
fast.
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http://www.saddle-creek.com/sounds/TheFaint_WorkedUpSoSexual.mp3
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